you got questions, i got answers (q&a) 6.20.02

Occasionally I get questions and suggestions from people I meet. Today, I thought I would answer a few of them for the curious. Don't worry, the names of the innocent are left out so if you sent me an e-mail and wanted to know why your husband still looks at other women, you won't be embarrassed.
The first question I get is "where do you get your ideas?" That is a good question and one I have hit on previously though not answered directly. I tap into something called running thoughts, that little conversation you have in your head. At least I have that little conversations going. I am not sure if other people do to the same extent or not.
The other place I get my ideas is from the thousands of black squirrels in Council Bluffs. The squirrels are not what they seem and will give you ideas if you let them. So don't worry the squirrels.
"Why do you espouse sentiments normally reserved for people much older than you like spanking?"
I am very much in touch with my inner child AND my inner old man. As a matter of fact, my inner old man regularly beats my inner child for swearing in public while my inner child is quick to point out that my inner old man also swears in public and is a hypocrite.
I think that age is largely an illusion. Not just in some hippie-dippy, new age way, but in the very real sense that no matter how old you are it doesn't matter. You are still just as entitled to be a jackass as when you were young. More so in some cases.
I have always admired the fearless manner in which many of my elders seem to live. Sure, inside they could be quivering masses of jelly, but to the world they could be hard core. They have seen a great deal and know a great deal. When you listen you can learn something from just about anybody whether they intend it or not.
Also, I like to be in touch with my inner hayseed and if that makes me a little self-consciously rural once in a while, so be it.
"At a reunion with childhood friends, I discovered they had become self-centered, materialistic and boring. Why is it not possible to have friends at the age of 60 that are like the friends of 12 to 16?"
Life can be a grinding experience. It's tough out there and the accumulation of material wealth has become a necessity in some ways and good practice in another.
I think there is a certain fearlessness we have when we are 12. Someone else is paying the bills. We can afford to like who we want, play as much as we want, love people without fear of rejection. Life feels like it will go on forever.
Maybe after so many years of doing for "me and mine" successfully, people get wrapped up in what they collect. It means they did their job well.
We have a lot of imagination when we are young and that tends to fizzle out when our brains settle into patterns. Imagination is really the firing of strange parts of the brain. It's like firecrackers, they go off only once and when you're out of firecrackers, that's it. So you need to keep buying firecrackers is how this analogy wraps up. I don't know, I think I am out of firecrackers.
"Are you aware that 'The Jungle' was written by Upton Sinclair and not Sinclair Lewis as you suggested?" and "How many people do you think caught that error. 1) Yes, I am. Sorry about that. I guess that is the kind of mistake you make when you are only kind of educated and type faster than you think. MEA CULPA! 2) Seven. Not too shabby.
"Are you happy?" This one comes up fairly often in one form or another. I honestly don't know. Sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not. I believe it was the Kids in the Hall who said it best: the only way to be happy is to know you won't be happy all the time. That works for me. Happiness is not a destination to reach, but a way of traveling. Don't worry, be happy. Happy happens, too! Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam, the poet said.
"Have you made arrangements for the after life?" Yes. I have arranged for body to be made into Soylent Green. Soylent Green, it's made of people!
"How can I be a part of the new and improved Nonpareil and insure that the quality keeps coming?" It's easy. Just call Ext. 225 and subscribe. Tell them Greg told you to call because I think there is some special deal going on right now. I don't know, I get mine free.
- Greg Jerrett is a Nonpareil staff writer. His column runs on Wednesdays and Saturdays. He may be contacted at 328-1811, Ext. 279, or by e-mail at gjerrett@nonpareilonline.com.