Suicide, don't do it 7.27.01

We are living in Roman times. Bad craziness fills the air. Life is moving fast, at the speed of stupidity, in fact.
Scientists will tell you nothing moves faster than the speed of light, but they are wrong, stupidity does. It is contagious. One person gets a bad idea and before the day is done, half the planet is thinking the same thing.
We are convinced that we must do things now, quick, faster, hurry up. Change lanes, talk on your cell phone, download Pink Floyd albums in 2.5 seconds. Instant gratification? That's not good enough. I want to be rich, good-looking and loved and I want it yesterday. Disappointment? That's for foreigners, I'm an American and Constitutionally guaranteed happiness at all times, check it out, chief.
Intelligence? Patience? Faith? No thanks.
We put all this pressure on ourselves in endless varieties too plentiful to account for here. The world is full of wonders on the one hand and vacuous nonsense on the other. It is easy to be confused. Serenity is harder to come by these days than meaning.
How can we expect our kids to process it all? How can we help? Especially when the topic is suicide.
Suicide is a sensitive subject. When suicide rears itself, it leads to a psychological plague like we are seeing in Harlan. Two teens killed themselves in the last two months and nearly a dozen others from the class of 2002 have attempted it.
Panic is natural and answers are few and far between. We are tempted to deal with these situations with exceeding tact, reverence and respect. A big mistake.
We cannot afford to give kids the impression that if they commit suicide, out attention and focus will finally be with them and them alone, on the tragedy which is their untimely death.
The worst thing we can do is focus dramatic attention on the subject. Teens are histrionic enough as it is, some are in very real pain and we want to help. It is a catch-22 and I hate catch-22s. I don't want to disrespect the dead or their families, but at the same time I don't want any more kids thinking that suicide is the answer for their teenage angst.
It is sick, but suicide becomes this hideous fashion statement to convince others of your pain.
Ironically, I hate talking about myself. But before anyone gets the chance to wonder what makes me an expert or gives me the authority to dish out advice on this subject, I'll tell you because I don't want there to be any misunderstandings later on.
I have been clinically depressed since I was about 13. I was undiagnosed until around my mid-20s when social circumstances, bad brain chemicals and what the French call "ennui" forced my condition into sharp relief.
Thinking about suicide was part of the package and I mean REALLY thinking about it hard, too. It seemed easy, like the right thing to do, like the inevitable outcome of a meaningless life. All that existentialist crap I read in college didn't help much either.
So I know what I am talking about and while I don't have degree in suicide prevention, I do have some ideas on the subject.
Suicide is like sex, drugs and rock -n- roll, it has an unfortunate mystique. Poets do it, rock stars do it. Curt Cobain did it. Chris Farley self-destructed in a hedonistic binge. They got all sorts of attention for it and kids notice these things. We need to stop that attention, it's too positive.
I think getting everyone together in a big room to listen to a lecture about not committing suicide is a bad idea, it's too impersonal and dehumanizing.
If you think your kids are at risk or even if you don't think that, people need to be loved. Nothing makes temporary problems seem bigger-than-life than not having anyone around you who cares enough to notice and talk to you like a human being.
If you have a family, turn off your television or better yet, get the whole family together and shoot it in the back yard because that demon is destroying us all. You will find it is much easier to communicate with each other if the TV is either off or in a couple hundred pieces in the back yard.
If you are a kid thinking about suicide, let me assure you, anything is better. Think about the last time you thought about suicide and all the good stuff that's happened between that time and this time. No matter how bad you feel now, life doesn't get good until much later, it's just those crazy hormones talking. They are like a drug, but the potency wears off later and gives you some clarity.
Lay off the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" platitudes because that kind of drivel only comforts people who don't really need it. A warm corn muffin with real butter might make grandma feel all nostalgic, but it doesn't do much for a kid with death on his mind.
And remember, we're all in this together.
-Greg Jerrett is a Nonpareil staff writer. He can be contacted at gjerrett@nonpareilonline.com.