If you're like me, and I know I am...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Greener my ass

A friend of mine just said to me, "Your best job is always your next one and your last one." How true it is. I've always had a hard time appreciating where I'm at when I'm there. Apartments, friends, jobs... it's always better in my mind where I was because I want something better for the future which never shows up. I think it takes a certain kind of zen ability to just BE that I've never been able to manage. I'm always unsatisfied, uncomfortable and unappreciative. I'd like to change, but frankly I feel I need to be in a better position in order to do that.


Sunday, August 28, 2005

Ideas, dreams and masks

I had a very good idea this weekend but I cannot for the life of me remember what the fuck it was. I come up with some of my best ideas in the mornings as I'm waking up but trying not to. I wear a mask when I sleep to help me not snore. For years, I didn't dream. I thought I just didn't remember my dreams, but it turns out I actually wasn't dreaming for shit. Now, I lay there in the mornings and keep myself in this perpetual dream flux bordering on the edge of wakefulness. The ideas flow through me and if I could write them down I would, but they come and go while I lay there motionless except for a twitching leg or the scratch of an itch.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Moral values in retrospect

People talk about how we've strayed morally as a nation and talk about how we need to get back to the values of the past. Well, I call bullshit on that. What exactly is so moral about the past? Genocide? Forced whitening of Indians? Keeping women from voting? Slavery? Cheap access to legal prostitution? Segregation? Child labor? The exploitation of immigrants?
We think because gay people want to sanctify their unions with marriage that things are getting worse? If anything, isn't that an example of things getting MORE moral? Why should they care, if they aren't moral, if their union is sanctified. People play violent video games and we think things are going to hell? They aren't actually killing people so that's really a step in the right direction, isn't it?
The problem is that in the U.S., violent crime is at an all time low. Bad shit happens, sure it does, but not like it used to, not per capital. We obsess ourselves with this trivia so we don't have to worry about the real problems we can't fix. We'll act all shocked and horrified that 10 year old girls are going out and getting pregnant. We'll start a moral crusade about that shit, but we don't get up in arms about the fact that 10 year old girls are CAPABLE of getting pregnant these days, do we? 100 years ago that wouldn't have been possible. 200 years ago a girl wouldn't have entered menses until she was 14 or so. Everyone in our society is too sedentary and as a result, young girls are hitting this benchmark early. It's nature's way of filling the void.
It's always been easier to bitch and whine about moral decline than to do something constructive that might have been hard and taken time. We thrive on fear because fear makes it OK for us to bitch about the wrong things and ignore the real issues in this world.