If you're like me, and I know I am...

Friday, December 03, 2004

Get ready for the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

I've been watching preview copies of the new "Battlestar Galactica" that will be starting in about a month on SciFi. I'm here to tell you that it freakin' rocks! This is 0one reinvention of a classic series that has already surpassed the original in its execution. Granted, the original inspired the imagination of your average 12 year old back in 1978, but this new series is strong. It's mature. It has gravitas. It takes itself seriously. It isn't afraid to be a science fiction show. It isn't goofy.

The basics are the same as are many of the characters ... in essence. The genders may have changed, but the names have stayed the same, sort of. Apollo is now the call sign for commander Adama's son, Lee Adama. Starbuck and Boomer are calls signs as well, for female pilots. Changes the dynamic. There are no female characters who are just eye candy like the original show.

The new and improved Cylons can pose as humans and the question "Are You Alive?" is a major theme from episode to episode.

Fans of the old show will be glad to see the old Vipers are around alongside a few newer models.

Check it out.  Posted by Hello

Paradise (and body parts) Lost

My father once told me that smoking was the only thing in his life that gave him any pleasure. Right to my face he says that. I don't think it even occurred to him that his statement could quite easily be taken badly by his offspring. It could also be argued that I shouldn't have taken it as a slight, but it was.

My failure as a son has mainly to do with the fact that I was never into hanging out in junkyards with toothless hayseeds who deliberately surrounded themselves with mountains of trash because something inside of it might be of value to someone. Fer instance. I remember one fieldtrip to a junkyard down in Plattsmouth, Neb. so my dad could go looking through mountains of wrecked cars for an intact rear windshield for some ancient piece of shit of his own. While he searched, my sister and I sat in the car and waited for about an hour... like dogs. When he returned it was with a cut hand and no windshield.

One might well ask, how expensive could any rear windshield be? The answer is not that expensive, but even if it were $50 with free installation, it would not have been as sweet as finding one in a junkyard for $20.

I grew up in a junkyard actually. My dad, always the admirer of other people's shit, kept his own little pile all around our house. There were several old cars, axles, tractors, plows, mowers and weeds, tons and tons of weeds growing in all the cracks. A completely dilapidated school bus my grandmother used to use to house chickens was the item that made sure no one driving by could fail to notice that our house had a small yard and a much larger junkyard attached to it.

After my parents got divorced, it was my mother's no. 1 priority to get rid of the embarrassing piles of rusted metal that had closed in on us over the years. Well, no. 2 if you count getting rid of my dad. My father put off the junk removal for over a year until my mother brought in another junk collector to take all the junk away for free, afterall, he was getting an amazing pile of crap in exchange. Suddenly, rather than take my sister and I out for pizza, it became my dad's primary focus to hang out with the junk dealer and move all his detritus. That was how he lost the tip of his pinky finger. He got it caught in a trailer hitch. That is the kind of thing that only happens to hicks like my dad. You don't see too many accountants or state senators who are missing parts of their bodies that they "got caught in a trailer hitch."

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

People are people ...

When I was a boy, my daddy told me two things that were true. One was that a man should never sit down just to pee. If you sit down, you better be wipin' your ass and not your pecker when your done. And that's a fact.

The second thing he told me that is unquestionably true is that people are complete shit. Lower than snakes. "Don't trust Whitey especially." He has not had an easy time of it in this life and I cannot say that I blame my father for his opinions. He might sound like a misanthrope, but I think he is more of a disappointed romantic. I know this because I am also a disappointed romantic. People will fail you for many reasons. They might be greedy, dishonest, lazy or just disinterested in not failing you. They don't love you, they don't help you, they don't care. They take all you offer and then try to squeeze a few more drops of generosity at the end.

Even the best people can be complete pigs when they lose interest.