If you're like me, and I know I am...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Intelligent Design-ers lack imagination and faith

Let's just assume for the sake of argument that God did indeed create the universe. I'll give you that one just to take it off the table. That fact doesn't mean evolution isn't real. It doesn't mean that The Big Bang is Big BS. God creating the universe doesn't change what real science is all about. What scientists do is observe, test, hypothesize test some more, replicate their findings and then begin to come to some conclusions. Science and religion are only opposites when ignorant people try to keep everyone ignorant. "Intelligent design" attempts to cut science off at the pass by suggesting that we shouldn't look for origins of life anywhere but with God. That is foolish EVEN if we take God creating the universe as a given.

Even the Roman Catholic Church acknowledges evolution. How is this possible? By giving the God that so many people credit with so much omnipotence a little credit. Obviously, Adam and Eve are just fictional characters meant to metaphorically describe creation. God said "Let there be light." Well I'm guessing the Big Bang resulted in a good deal of light. God said "Be fruitful and multiply." Well what can be more fruity and "multiplicitous" than evolution?

You can believe God created the universe and still be a real scientist, but if you count science and God as disparate, then you lack imagination and, I'm sad to say, faith.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ames DJ finds home in Los Angeles - FYI

Ames DJ finds home in Los Angeles - FYI

Yeah, I know these douche bags. It's really
surprising that Corey (left) would horn in
on a story about Kyle (not left). Anywho,
good to hear you're doing well Kyle. Corey,
you're still a prick!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Quality of Mercy

The thing about health care in the United States is that it sucks.
I don't mean it is kind of inconvenient to go to the doctor or
a bit pricey but damn it's great quality health care once you
get past the bullshit. I mean it's ALL bullshit all the time and
I'm really not sure it's all that good either.

You see, medicine is a for-profit business in the United States
and that doesn't guarantee quality. The practice of medicine
began out of genuine compassion, but these days it's about
as compassionate as an assembly line.

I don't mind docs making money. I don't even mind drug
companies making money. What I do mind is greed infecting
every aspect of what should be about compassion and healing.
A lot of things are great until money and greedheads get involved.
Religion for example. Smart-ass folks will say that religion has
caused more bloodshed in this world than anything else. I'm not
so sure that's the case any more. Religion wasn't doing too bad
until money got involved. It's no coincidence that a good deal of
gold was brought back from the Crusades. It's no coincidence that
Conquistadors brought crosses and left with Incan treasures.

Introduce money into any system and it stinks to high heaven.

I got me the diabetes and I really think my doctor is a good guy.
I think he really wants to give me the best possible treatment
options that are out there, but I can't trust the system that provides
the drugs and processes my payments. I go to the office and it feels
like it's more about getting my insurance card info correct, taking my
money and then oops, we forgot to do what you came in here for.

I also don't know how much influence the drug companies have over him.
He might honestly think that the drugs he prescribes me are the
best out there but maybe he's just been unduly influenced by some
slick douchebags with a good rap and some free samples. If the Lantus
guy gives my doc a lot of free insulin to give to his patients who can't
afford to buy the stuff that could easily influence a good man to
prescribe the stuff to me even though I have to pay $70 a bottle for
the shit. My insurance company only saves me $8 per bottle at this
time. And that's just one script. The more I spend on drugs, the less
I have to spend on things like proper nutrition. Fresh vegetables
aren't cheap you know.

And because everything is so freakin' expensive, everyone tries to
get as much dosh out of you, your insurance company and anyone else
stupid enough to get involved in medicine directly or tangentially at
every turn. I appreciate that it costs money to create new medicines,
but when was the last time a drug company came up with a cure for

Here's something to consider: There's no profit in curing disease. There
is only profit in treating disease. You could waste millions on researching
a cure for diabetes but what would be the corporate points? That would
be like McDonald's inventing a hamburger that guaranteed that you would
never eat another hamburger again. It would work against their primary
purpose, which is NOT to make hamburgers, it IS to make money. Mickey
D's could make mud pies. So long as people bought 'em by the bag full,
they wouldn't give a crap. Cure diabetes and suddenly millions of paying
customers disappear. Better to come up with ways of making people
live with a disease with a variety of symptoms each with its own very
expensive prescription medication. That's where the money is.

Where is the moral imperative to do good works in this world where the
pursuit of profit seems to justify everything from selling crap to starting
wars? Corporations are ruining this country with their mammon worship
and we are not only letting them do it, we are complicit in our own

Sunday, May 13, 2007

I believe in miracles, birth just isn't one of them

People often refer to "the miracle of birth." That's a bit over-the-top,
don't you think? Typically, miracles are things that don't happen
hundreds of thousands of times a day, you know? I don't doubt that
having a baby hurts, takes a lot out of you or that it is a monumental
occasion in your life, but it's still not a miracle ... especially where
people are concerned. Even though we mostly give birth to one live
offspring at a time, we have still managed to over-populate the planet
like nothing else. That's impressive, but hey, rats have litters of six and
up. Rats can have several litters a year. Rats can be great-great-great
grandparents before they die in as short as three years time.

Elephants carry their fetuses for over a year. Pandas have a hell of a
time conceiving at all. Whales getting it on, can you imagine what must
go into that?

No, birth is no miracle. It's pretty common. Just walk into any mall
or grocery store in the country and see just how NOT miraculous
birth is. It would be a miracle of some of these mouth-breathers
DIDN'T have kids. And is there a category GREATER than "miracle"
for someone who can actually control their kids? I think so.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

See you in hell, Paris!

Perhaps you've heard of this ridiculous petition to free Paris Hilton
from the onerous burden of her 45-day jail sentence for driving
on a suspended license? Don't look for a link to that piece of crap
here (though I signed it "Keep the Bitch") because I'm not enabling
any American retards to subvert justice. I will, however, provide
you with a little commentary and some links to petitions to make
sure L.A. County official do their job and keep that stupid skinny
whore locked up for the entire length of her very short jail sentence.

First, the links:

Jail Paris Hilton

Go Away Paris

Get Rid of Paris Hilton for Good

It's funny how this country can be divided into camps
over some skinny skank who's never done anything positive
with her life. In spite of what her mommy thinks, one cannot
"bring beauty to the world" by making the occasional sex tape,
Fox reality show or trip down the catwalk. In fact, I'd say those
things do the opposite of bring beauty to the world.

The Free Paris Petition starts off saying: “Paris Whitney
Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite."

That alone suggests to me that not only is she guilty, but deserving
of the guillotine.

"She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world."

Hope? You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. I just hope she gets the shit
kicked out of her in the joint so she can't model any more.

"She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise
mundane lives.”

Yeah, she really doesn't and if her antics uplift your existence, you've
got more problems than being mundane. You know, I cannot state
it strongly enough that I really hope that Paris Hilton gets the
holy living shit kicked out of her in the joint on a daily basis. It would
really do her some good to know what mundane life is like for the rest
of humanity ... no, scratch that. It would do her some good to know what
life is like for real human beings.

Monday, May 07, 2007


I really know how this guys feels, for I too have been punched in the guts by Spider-man 3

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [2:17 PM]:
did you see Spiderman yet?

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:17 PM]:
yup, disappointed

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:18 PM]:
I got up to go three time, this thing had more endings than Return of the King

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [2:18 PM]:
yeah, I was looking forward to seeing Venom on the big screen since I was 12 years old. And that was a serious let down.

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:18 PM]:
Topher Grace makes me ill and angry

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [2:19 PM]:
how could you make Venom a whimpy little guy

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:20 PM]:
oh and let's make hobgoblin and spidey friends again one last time... and hey thanks butler guy for not sharing that piece of info about my dad whackin' himself two movies back, you jagoff

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:20 PM]:
cuz i might NOT have wanted to know that my best friend didn't kill my father

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:20 PM]:
I'd also like to punch Kirsten Dunst in that weird face of hers as well

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:23 PM]:
I had to pee so I took off during the amazing final dance sequence. pray tell, did I miss anytihing?

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [2:24 PM]:
haha, what was with the Jazz club

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:24 PM]:
this turd was so rank, that was my favorite part! especially when PP hit MJ in her weird little face ... she WAS kinda askin' for it

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [2:29 PM]:
say something funny andy so I can use this on my blog

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [2:40 PM]:
There was just too much going on in this Movie. I wanted 15 years to see Venom tear it up on the big screen and Topher didn't cut it. They could of at least gave Venom more than 20 minutes of screen time.

Jerrett, Greg (CCI-Omaha) [3:00 PM]:
yeah and a script that wasn't total shite would have been nice too. *ring ring* "hello, this is Sam
Raimi, I'm just calling to let you know I'll be PHONING IT IN!"

Gehringer, Andy (CCI-Omaha) [3:00 PM]:

Phone Monkeys and Other Animals

Coming soon to a theater near you.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Misused, Overused and Abused 8th Grade Vocabulary Words

There are a handful of words that are commonly misused
by most American ... because most Americans are idiots.
Here's brief list.

As in: "Stop being facetious" or "he's just being facetious."
This word is used as a synonym for "funny" but facetious means
"ill-timed humor." But even Webster's second definition for "facetious"
lends credence to this deviation. One isn't facetious for telling a joke. One isn't
being facetious for telling a bad joke. One is facetious for telling
a joke - good or bad - at the wrong time. Saying; "Wow, your grandma
sure has big tits" to someone especially at her funeral is facetious because
the circumstances are all wrong. Put the same joke in a movie like
"American Pie" and it gets big laughs. When we make words with subtly
shades of meaning synonyms for the simplest possible terms, then all
words come to represent the simplest possible concepts. We lose the
ability to express complex ideas.

As in: "This beer is the nectar of the gods!" Well, yes, isn't just? Every drunk
in the United States has said "nectar of the gods" at one point or another.
This isn't inaccurate so much as it is just redundant hyperbole. It's a cliche
and cliche's said over and over again lose their meaning. The gods on
Mt. Olympus drink nectar and eat ambrosia. These items are really concepts
to describe food and drink so good they are beyond the human capacity
to comprehend. There is no "nectar of the Poles" or "nectar of the Congress."
So nectar is only nectar of the gods. No one ever says "ambrosia of he gods"
do they? Additionally, fruits and vegetables produce nectar and nectar is the
primary component of honey, but these things take their name from the
original and no one is usually referring to fruit juice when they say "nectar
of the gods."

This word literally meant 10,000 when the Greeks came up with it, but
soon came to mean "a great number." And it's not a bad word. Kind of
flows gently from between the lips with a sight bounciness and just a hint
of the tip of the tongue at the end for authority. It's fun to say. Which is
probably why every bugger says it way too much especially in the form
"a myriad of ..." That phrasing was popularized by Henry David Thoreau,
but to his credit, he only said it once. Meanwhile, every geek with a chub
on for Greek word uses "myriad of ..." instead of "lots of ..." every chance
they get. Funny turn on this one, the high brow crowd of word-smith
psuedo-intellectuals and grammarian rule mongers disdain the use of
the word myriad as a noun operating under the mistaken assumption
that the word is only properly used as an adjective. These pinheads are
wrong. Myriad is properly used as a noun first and an adjective second.
So not all of these words are corrupted by the lowly.

As in just another word for "lots"; used interchangeably with myriad.
"Plethora" is used in the exact same way as "myriad," which is funny
since "plethora" refers to an excess of blood in the body. "Plethora" is
a variety of abundance usually treated with leeches by doctors in the
Middle Ages. The subtle usage of plethora would tend to indicate
something at least vaguely sick, uncomfortable or disquieting. A plethora
of choices is a good thing typically, but a plethora of diseases might be
more accurate. A plethora of choices in the potato chip isle might
connote the right amount of irony for so many unhealthy options.

Literally, a horn of plenty. Originally a goat's horn filled with fruit and
grain symbolizing plenitude around harvest time. Today, it's mostly a
wicker cone used as a center piece at Thanksgiving. It's overused by
people with a dearth of vocabulary and scant imagination who frequently
precede it with "veritable." The USA Steak Buffet offers a veritable
cornucopia of dishes.
The irony of this is that veritable means that the
thing being described is actually the thing being described and not false or
imaginary. Mostly it's just mental laziness and lack of imagination that
leads folk to say this over and over again. Which leads us to the king
of all overused, misused and abuse terms.

Here is a good example of WHY most people misuse ironic from a
junior high school English class web site:

Meaning of ironic (adj.) contradictory; inconsistent; sarcastic.
Example of ironic: Is it not ironic that Americans will toss out leftover
French fries while people around the globe continue to starve?
NO! It is not!

"Ironic" means "given to irony." "Irony" is when words are used to express
the opposite of their literal meaning. This would be a good example of irony:
"Isn't it ironic that someone called 'a teacher' would teach kids the incorrect
definition of 'ironic'?"

This is why we have people running around saying things like "Oh my God,
it's so ironic that I ran into you at the mall."