(tips)7.19.02

I don't know about you, good folks, but personally I'm not too comfortable with the idea of Joe the Cable Jockey and C.W. McCall the Trucker King spying on me for Uncle Sam under the auspices of Homeland Security and Operation TIPS. It isn't that I am planning anything more subversive this weekend than heckling that stinkpot of a sequel, "Men in Black II," but still...
No, my problem with the Operation TIPS program (Terrorism Information and Prevention System - where ordinary Americans spy on their neighbors and report them if they "see something they consider suspicious") is based on the fact that I don't think the average trucker, cable guy, pizza delivery boy, itinerant hairdresser, meter reader and lawnmower man is qualified to determine who and what is suspicious. Most people I know can't tell the difference between a Mexican, an Arab and a Pakistani without a flow chart.
Oh sure, it sounds reasonable on the face of it, doesn't it? One need not be a law enforcement agent to call one and more eyes makes us more vigilant. Problem is that these days, being suspected of a crime is almost as bad as committing one. Should otherwise guilt-free Americans spend time standing tall before the man because they cut off Joe Blow Trucker Junior G-man?
This new Justice Department program wants a full 4 percent of the United States population ratting on the other 96 percent by August. And that is just for starters. Government informants, they are called. Nothing cute. Why hide it? Their job will be to report their suspicions to the Department of Justice for inclusion in a government database.
If you weren't anxious before, you might want to think about it sometime this weekend when it hits you that since 9/11, we are suddenly living in a bad comic book version of a futuristic America where corporations run wild, patriotism and jingoism are confused and American citizens smile proudly while turning in their neighbors for having guests over at odd hours like 7:45.
Now, I would never suggest that if a Middle Eastern man or even a Middle Western man comes into your feed and grain store looking to buy an unusually large amount of anhydrous ammonia and then asks you if you sell mercury timers without a hint of irony that you shouldn't give your local sheriff a ringy-dingy. Sure, let him see if the guy is a member of Al-Qaeda, a home-grown corn-fed terrorist like Timmy McVeigh or just a nutjob with a bad sense of humor. But here's the thing. I travel around southwest Iowa on stories and I love this place. Iowans are the greatest people on earth - right up there with Canadians. I wouldn't live anywhere else - with the possible exception of Canada - and half the time when I roll into a town, people look at me with great suspicion just because I rolled into town. Maybe it's the goatee. Maybe no REAL American would drive an '86 Chevy Caprice. Who knows? I've even been questioned by the local ice cream merchant in one small town for taking pictures on a public street OF a public street. No friendly curiosity. No warm welcome for a potential tourist. Just cold suspicion. As if a member of a world-wide terrorist organization would find something of interest to blow up in a town of 1,000 people, 90 percent of whom are out of town during the day.
The United States Post Office, as an organization, took a pass on joining Operation TIPS and offered no explanation why. Perhaps they thought turning peeping toms into heroes or allowing heroes to become peeping toms should give us pause. This program is divisive and turns private sector employees into snoops.
Granted the cable industry has come a long way and I have been impressed with how fast they can fix a downed cable or install HBO, but now I don't even want to let them into my house lest my collection of 1960s Indian film posters be mistaken for terrorist propaganda by guys who slept through Western Civ. class. No offense, but I feel safe in saying the average cable jock is not necessarily an expert on world politics, cultures or what constitutes "suspicious activity" in my home.
What sort of training does the government plan to give these guys? What kind of resources will it take to do background checks on its own informants? They do PLAN to do background checks on their own informants, don't they? How much does all of this cost? How effective could it possibly be? Couldn't all of this time, effort and money be better spent on border patrols, port containment inspection and common sense measures like airport security?
Operation TIPS is like getting an expensive yet faulty alarm system for your home when you don't even bother to lock the front door. What's next? Rounding up dissenters for reeducation? Arm bands? Brown shirts? Loyalty tests?
Here's a TIP for you, stay away from MY window!
- Greg Jerrett is a Nonpareil staff writer. His column runs on Wednesdays and Saturdays. He may be contacted at 328-1811, Ext. 279, or by e-mail at gjerrett@nonpareilonline.com.