Why Space?

Matt Duncan writes:

Dear Fat Ass,

I was watching the director's cut of "The Abyss" the other day

instead of spending quality time with my children when a

question occurred to me: Why do we spend all this money

to explore outer space when there is still so much here on

Earth -- like the ocean floor -- to explore? Wouldn't it be cool

to live in an underwater city like Aquaman and shit?

Sincerely,

Matt "Hosed in the Big O" Duncan

Dear Hosed,

The fact of the matter is -- and I know this from 43 years of "Doctor Who"

episodes -- that the human race is not likely to survive if it does not move

into outer space. The oceans are a great mystery and believe me when I

tell you that a great deal of underwater exploration does indeed go on. One

fascinating fact about underwater exploration that not a lot of people realize

is that the deeper one dives, the greater the pressure of all those tons

of water pressing down. Even automated equipment, robots with cameras

and some simple instruments are just crushed before they can transmit

anything of real interest back to the surface.

Another sad but true fact is that the Earth is either dying or changing fast

enough that even if we moved into the oceans, we'd still end up dead. If

the oceans die, we don't do any better in them than out of them. But I

would be the first one to admit that an underwater hotel/resort would rock

harder than Cheap Trick Live at the Budokan.

Either way, there's plenty of exploration dollars to go around, especially

since most of what we are doing in space is putting spy satellites and

orbital weapons platforms into place

Ad Astra