The Weak and the Meek

"Don't you shake your God damn head at me
you runty piece of shit or I'll shove you
back inside your mama's cooch until you're
big enough to have your ass kickked properly."

I never could stand little fellas with a
chip on their shoulders. Always runnin'
around like they got something to prove.
I don't know, maybe they do, but why is it
always to me?

I've had one or two buddies a little under
the norm when it came to height, but I never
thought of them as different or special unless
they screwed with me. Then nature took its
course I reckon. I mean, you got to be a little
on the stupid side to mess with someone whose
bigger than you whether he's your friend or not.
The pecking order exists for a reason and even
though I'm a big guy I've found myself on the
lower end of it plenty just because I've never
liked to fight or get into pissing contests with anybody
and that includes friends. I don't like it because when
it starts I don't back down and I will piss until I win.
I've always got a nuclear option ready to deploy.

You know, when you're a kid and you get to wrestling
with your friends, it's fun until somebody gets hurt. And
somebody always gets hurt. Then suddenly you're a bad
guy who plays too rough when the truth is you've been
pulling your punches and playing at half strength and letting
the little guys win once in a while since you were 5.

Now, what gets me is how many pussies will actually think
they beat you. More likely, they know they didn't beat you
but think everyone else watching thinks that you did and
they run with it. So next time around they lose. And they little
guys never have to hold back. A kid 20-30 pounds lighter than
you might well be able to hit you full on and not knock you down,
but it still hurts when he sticks his bony elbow in your ribs in
imitation of some pro-wrestling superstar.

So you can pull your punches all you want, but physics will
eventually prevail. And it's about that point that I start
looking like a sociopath. I was never as lithe or confident in
my body as the other kids who could go balls out, so I was
never able to grow into my bigness. I was just a moose.
So I opted out until someone needed an anchor for tug o' war.

Ironically, I have a chip on my should like a lot of little guys
thewe days. I never pull my punches any more. If you step to me,
I don't care if you're 3-feet tall or 7 1/2, I'm taking you down by
whatever means are required. That usually means something
other than fisticuffs these days. It usually calls for a combination
of a cutting wit and intimidation. You can throw Oscar Wilde
off his game if he thinks the exchange of barbs is going to break
down into brouhaha. Fear of imminent ass-beating can throw
even the most erudite wordsmith off his game leaving him
primed for a verbal routing.

It's funny how things turn out. I've been picked on by little
guys more times than I can count and any example of me defending
myself is looked upon with scorn. What a fucked up world where the
meek are condemned for defending themselves from the weak.