The Adventures of Draft Dodger in the 21st Century

W and his Secretary of Veteran Affairs, Jim Nicholson,
have been screwing with us for the last week hinting
how much they'd like to reinstate the draft. Bush
said at a press conference that we need to figure
out some way to increase our troop size ... somehow.

Somehow, he says, with shit-eating grin. The same
grin I'm sure Nero had when he burned Rome because
the people didn't like him enough. I can fully
imagine Bush deliberately trying to torture a
population that has, in his opinion, lost its resolve.

Lucky for us, he's a pussy and a politico who knows
that as low as his numbers are now, they'd actually
dip below zero if he started plucking sons from their
mother's bosom to die for oil. I do say sons here
exclusively because the day the United States starts
drafting women will never come. And rightly so. Sexist
or not, it isn't pragmatic since they are the ones
who carry the babies, an important post-war necessity.

Of course, the ultimate irony is that our president is
a draft dodging piece of chickenhawk shit. But no one
expects him to get irony. "That's like coppery or woody,
ain't it?"