This is Why People Hate Cops pt 2

So there I am, sitting on the shoulder waiting for this
piece of shit cop to squeeze his ass out of his cruiser
and waddle up to my window because I was flippin'
ready for his ass. Purposely driving like a madman
just to entice a motorist is crossing the line. I'm sure
this dipshit gets away with this crap all the time because
most people get a little irritated while driving ESPECIALLY
when someone almost causes an accident. Then a cop
accuses them of being aggressive and they feel sheepish
and admit to whatever the cop wants to lay on them.
Either that or they get righteously pissed off and understandably
agitated and the cop once again gets away with it.

I don't fall for that.

So here's what really gets me. This pig comes up to my
window and instead of asking for my papers says, "Did
you need something?" That's the biggest dick move there
is. I know because I've used it myself when some impatient
jackass honked at me to get a move on in a parking lot or
something when I'd be moving if it were safe to proceed. But
I'm not a cop who took an oath to uphold the law who has some
obligation to be a bit of a professional.

"Do I need something? Yeah, I needed you to merge."

"Well, the horn is only supposed to be used in case of an
emergency. I can show you the code if you'd like."

"Well I guess the emergency is that I thought you were
going to cause an accident."

"May I see your license, registration and proof of insurance,
please ... sir."

It was that little slur on sir that erased any lingering
doubts I had about what kind of cop I was dealing with.
You see, cops are all the same. I know one or two I like,
but even so, 99% of all cops think they are themselves
the law. They think anyone who is out after dark has
to be drunk or muling drugs in their ass. They think
nothing of entrapment or pushing the limits of what is
acceptable. They'd love to be able to search us all, shake
us down and incarcerate everyone because only in that
police state will the world be a good and decent place.

No matter how bad a dude I might think myself, the
truth is, I don't do a God damn thing. I don't do drugs.
I rarely drink or even go out. I once clocked a dude at
a midnight screening of "The Goonies," but he hit me
first. Still I tend to think of myself as guilty of something
all the time because that's just how I was raised. It's more
of an existential crisis than anything.

So I grab my license and get my registration from the
glove box. I just got my proof of insurance last week
and threw it on the passenger seat in the envelope. So
I start opening the envelope and I get this from the
cop:

"You seem kind of agitated, sir."

"Really?!"

"Well, your ripping things up and throwing them
around the car," he said trying to offer misleading
audio description for the video tape camera in his car
which couldn't actually see what's going on.

"I'm opening the envelope that contains my insurance
card ... officer."

By this time, Pigboy has got to know he's not dealing
the average bear. He's tried baiting me and distorting
potential evidence. It's a real sham and while my anger
was there beneath the surface, on top, I was all Zen.
I mean, how else do you open an envelope? You rip paper,
am I right.

So here we are just lingering. I'm showing no fear and giving
no excuses. The "witty" banter portion of this sham of a traffic
stop seems to be over.

"I won't give you a ticket this time. Be careful getting back
the interstate and remember to wear you seat belt."

"Oh thank you ... officer ... I really appreciate it," I said
dripping with sarcasm (in case the italics above didn't
translate my contempt effectively enough).

It was at that point that I should have asked for the fucker's
name and badge number, but like most people I just wanted
to get the hell on my way, you know. I wasn't really surprised
that he didn't give me a ticket though, even though I wasn't
wearing my seat belt. And I'll tell you why that is in part 3.

[to be cont'd]