What IS the point?

I've been contemplating suicide a lot lately. Not in the deep funk of years past, which was as deep and as funky as a George Clinton groove, but in the inevitable light of reason. Our Japanese brothers, our Roman predecessors took a rational view to suicide. They'd kill themselves because they had to for political reasons, issues of honor and to protect their families. A Japanese author in the 80s wrote a how to book on the subject. Guns aren't as common in Japan so a good way to commit suicide with a minimum of pain is always a bestseller. He included a good rationalization at the front of his book, too, claiming that there was really no good reason to stay alive. Life is boring, cruel and ultimately a waste of time if you arent digging it. This raised a few eyebrows in the West, but only because we expect people who would be better off dead to stay alive and dig ditches for us. If eveyone in the West who was miserable or just unhappy with their lots in life killed themselves, more middle management types would actually have to work for a living.

Rationally speaking, I've made MY contribution already. I'm not happy, probably won't be happy any time soon. I'm chronically depressed, fat, diabetic and getting worse in every possible way. Most people I know would feel better about having known me than they do knowing me. I'm a good person to remember, but not a good person to live with. So why not?