Turkeys
Well if I had any doubts about wanting to kill myself, Thanksgiving removed them. This isn't going to be one of those rants about how effed up my family is. Frankly, everything was pretty nice. My sister made a nice turkey with all the trimmin's as they say. It was a generous spread and a nice time. My brother-in-law smoked a turkey to death. The guy needs to stop.
But the deal with social gatherings is that I just cannot tolerate being around people any more. Social situations just fuck me up. 99% of the human race annoys the shit out of me. They are banal, pointless wastes of space whose only contribution to conversation is usually "did you see that show last night" or "the only good beer is Busch Light." I've gotten to the point where I can really enjoy being around my family and then the rules change and I have to hang around my brother-in-law's family.
They are nice enough people, but I've got crushing depression and feel worse around other human beings. But the rest of the race could at least try to be interesting. The only question anyone has to ask me is "where are you working now?" Like that says anything about me. Ask me something revealing like "if you could kill someone and get away with it, would you?" "What's the wierdest thing you ever ate?" "Have you ever jerked off while driving?" Something original or at least probing. All these people have to say in their own subtle way is that life is not worth living.
My nephew has turned into a typical 13-year-old asshole to boot. For my birthday he got me nothing, not even a card or a "happy birthday." For Thanksgiving he topped that by not saying one word to me the whole day. It wasn't deliberate either, I'm sure of that. He just wasn't interested.
But the deal with social gatherings is that I just cannot tolerate being around people any more. Social situations just fuck me up. 99% of the human race annoys the shit out of me. They are banal, pointless wastes of space whose only contribution to conversation is usually "did you see that show last night" or "the only good beer is Busch Light." I've gotten to the point where I can really enjoy being around my family and then the rules change and I have to hang around my brother-in-law's family.
They are nice enough people, but I've got crushing depression and feel worse around other human beings. But the rest of the race could at least try to be interesting. The only question anyone has to ask me is "where are you working now?" Like that says anything about me. Ask me something revealing like "if you could kill someone and get away with it, would you?" "What's the wierdest thing you ever ate?" "Have you ever jerked off while driving?" Something original or at least probing. All these people have to say in their own subtle way is that life is not worth living.
My nephew has turned into a typical 13-year-old asshole to boot. For my birthday he got me nothing, not even a card or a "happy birthday." For Thanksgiving he topped that by not saying one word to me the whole day. It wasn't deliberate either, I'm sure of that. He just wasn't interested.
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