Love is a drug/How to kick the habit

Check it out. Love produces opiates just like jogging or doing smack. Don't tell me it can't mess you up.

Love is like heroin, it's a highly addictive substance that makes you think you are going to die without it (in this analogy anyway, in another it might be like food without which the soul dies, but let's focus). I've been there, of course, but mostly my torments have been due to unrequited love.

Once, it went on for two years. God it sucked. The object (of my "affection") and I would talk on the phone every day like lovers but I was just a placebo boyfriend who listened to her and gave a shit. She got the sex elsewhere, from some greasy drummer she was cheating on her boyfriend with. It was a pain buffet and I sucked it up like a glutton, baby. Like spikin' a vein and riding the white dragon to Nodsville, baby. You keep hangin' on day after day just to hear the sound of Lady Heroin's voice on the phone, to feel the electric rush of sexual attraction you'd get just from sitting in her car. One day you wake up and you've wasted two years of life on something that was killing you. You want to quit, but you don't know how.

Well the cure for heroin addiction is methadone. It's true for love as well as the Chinaman's nightcap. You have to find something close enough to heroin to get your mind off the junk and stop the shakes. In female terms, that means finding another woman. The trick is to not get re-addicted. Running out and finding another woman to get all googly-eyed over is not the right idea. Finding a one-night stand is a fine idea. Strip club is also not too bad, but I've seen any number of suckers get pulled into that sad life. Going back three, four times a week spending hundreds of dollars on their favorite stripper. Buying presents and, yes, even writing really shitty poems.

No the trick is you have to use the stripper in the best possible way. Don't let her use you beyond taking your money. But for God's sake, get your money's worth, man. Get your jimmy rubbed, smell her perfume, feel those tits, rub that ass, let her twist your nipples and if you find one that gives you a happy ending, so much the better. Go back a few times. Sample a few different girls. Your body has all sorts of mechanisms inside it to ramp up the mating instinct. Touch another woman. Get her smell inside your brain. Let her laugh and the loud music create new and pleasing sense memories. This WILL get your mind off Miss Perfect. Even better, it will teach you at the cellular level that Miss Perfect is just another person, nobody so special you can't live without her. Then cut and run. Don't become a regular. Move on with your life and don't get suckered into worshipping another woman again. They don't respect that shit anyway.