Fitness made annoying

John Basedow is an
aggrevating mutate
sumbitch. He's on
cable every 10 minutes
hawking his God damned
fitness program in that
ridiculous hip clutching
poseof his talking about
you too can look like a
complete tool. I mean, God bless you John Basedow
for being ripped, but could you please, please,
PLEASE stand like a real man?!

I never thought I'd find anything more
irritating than those Girls Gone Wild
infomercials, but at least I can avoid
those half-hour slut nuggets with a quick
flick of the remote. But Slab Hugelarge
here sneaks in at all hours of the day
and night in his lycra posing pouch to
let us all know that not only is he
genetically superior to us, but he has
enough time on his hands to crunch his
way to freakhood AND make a few million
duckets bilking dipshits.

It was recently rumored that he died
in Thailand during the tsunami. That
turned out to be both wishful thinking
and a ruse perpetrated by his competition.
Why can't these guys just off each other
like the ab-gangstas they pretend to be.

On behalf of late night, desperate loner
TV viewers everywhere, Fuck you Basedow and
in the name of all that is holy would you
stop touching yourself already.