Burgers, pop music and the epicurean palate

[Preface: a friend of mine used to wonder if her
boyfriend was cheating on her. She consoled herself
with the homily, "Why go out for hamburger when
you can have steak at home?" I said, "Sometimes
it's just easier to grab as burger, especially
after a night of drinking. Besides, burgers are
good. You can put cheese on a burger and toast
the bun. Burgers are great."]

This one is in the category of "You Know You're
Getting Old When ..." But screw it. What else is
there to talk about besides the things that begin
to dawn on you?

I recently worked with a kid, a hipper than thou,
fresh out of college type who would say things
like "Dude, Hoobastank totally rock!" while
looking down upon the lame old people who
"just didn't get it."

Oh I get it all right. Every day some new band
is discovered by some corporate death rock
outfit and we are all expected to ooh and aah
at SUM41, Blink182, MudVayne and God knows who
else is the flavor of the month. Some of these
guys stick around for a couple years, but it
isn't how long they've been around or what kind
of marketable staying power they possess, it's
the fact that they are handed to us pre-packaged
for quick sale as the latest, coolest thing for
kids as if that is somehow important.

Devotees of this kind of fad are almost as tiring
as the people who only ever listens to music they
deem appropriately important. Their bands might
have gotten a hit once or they might only play
small rooms. Their music is by dead guys and the
musician's musicians who also listen to those dead
guys. The Offspring and Garbage aren't just sucky
bands they are the epitome of everything that is
wrong with the music industry today. God help you
if find "The Kids Aren't All Right" or "I'm Only
Happy When It Rains" catchy because you then become,
by extension, a part of the problem.

The truth, I find, is usually somewhere in the middle
ground. Somewhere out there between corporate whore
and musical ascetic is a more relaxed label. I like
the great and important musicians as much as anyone,
but I'm not ready to evangelize on their behalf. Pop
music might lack importance, but everything that I do
doesn't have to reek of eternal truth does it?

Music is like food and though I typically use the term
in the pejorative, you consume both of them. One goes
in your mouth, one goes in your ears. There are things
you consume because they fill you up quick. There are
things you consume because they're good for you. You
consume things that comfort you and things that intoxicate
you. Bonbons and "A Total Eclipse of the Heart" are both
guilty pleasures. Broccoli and anything by Tom Waits are
good for you, but not everybody can stand them.

I find music snobs who eat at McDonalds while talking about
how people who buy Britney Spears CDs are ruining music
laughable. Apparently the American palate is not worth saving.

Not everyone cares about everything, at least not at the same time.