The "Surreal Life" makes me weep

I was watching "The Surreal Life 4" tonight and felt myself moved to tears as Verne Troyer (Mini Me) road his scooter about the house bare-assed naked and rat-assed drunk.

"I'm drunk," Verne said. Then the littlest star pissed in the corner of the living room and I was overcome with a desire to pick him up and throw him.

But Christopher Knight (Peter Brady) is ripped though. He's like Batman. The fucker looks a hell of a lot better with his shirt off than I ever did.

Go-Go Jane Weidlan got naked in the hot tub and my withered loins moved a little

Rapper and self-described bitch Da Brat, two models (one German dude and some chick I couldn't care less bout) and pro-wresler Chyna Doll round out the cast. I will undoubted be back for more. It's like a car crash.