Porn and Sausage

I am a big fan of the Food Network. I consider it to be central to my daily viewing. One of its shows is "Every Day Italian" featuring Giada De Laurentiis. She is a lovely girl with shiny blue eyes and slim little body, which is really surprising considering she is really enthusiastic about food and clearly loves to cook AND eat.

But when I watch Giada's show, I can't escape the feeling that I am watching really high quality porn, the really atmospheric stuff with the slightly less cheesy music and marginally improved video technology. I'm sure she's a wonderful person, she seems quite nice, but in just the right light, she has that look of the porn queen at the top of her game making the kind of porn flick she's "always dreamed of making."

Every time she takes a hot Italian sausage and squeezes the meat out of its casing or describes the sensation of anything on her tongue or says the word "sweet," I get positively turgid expecting the UBS man to show up with "a special package" for her if she'll just "sign right here."

Still, I think she beats hell out of Emeril any day.