If you're like me, and I know I am...

Friday, January 14, 2005

Deeper and Deeper




I think the attempt to constantly seek newer and more
meaningful truths without first completely divesting
one's self of ego is a most foolish and pointless
endeavor. The truth doesn't care what you WANT to
be true. It doesn't care if you really, REALLY think
that Papa Roach is the zenith of Rock n Roll or the
epitome of what's wrong with music today.

You can't know what the truth is if you are too busy
trying to posture and look cool. On the other hand,
if posturing and looking cool is all you really want
to do, then stop pretending to be a font of wisdom,
it's like watching an episode of The Real World.

I maintain a very narrow scope on the subject of truth.
I don't claim to know everything and I don't want to
know everything. Hell, I don't want to know most of
what I already do know. I suspect that retarded guys
are happier than ever will be. I don't like hypocrisy
but I acknowledge that some contradiction is inherent
to human nature. I despise labels that limit, but accept
that we have to have some way of referring to others.
I am a fat guy with a beard. If you are looking for me
in a restaurant, that's who you ask the waiter for. Makes
things easier. If I were black, you should ask for the fat
black guy with the beard.

I don't believe that we should allow ourselves to be
fooled by appearances in people, the media (encompassing
the pundits as well as the government that uses the
media at will) or advertising. It does seem inevitable
though that one man's obvious bullshit is another
man's God's honest truth. Am I the one who's wrong?
Maybe the majority is correct. But if one man, and
only one man, is correct in the face of world wide
opposition, then he is still right, isn't he?

On the subject of appearances, I had a "friend" who
used to make fun of the fact that I bought plain
label chips. This was back in the day when generic
brands were actually in black and white labels so
it was obvious. The reason I did this was because
the generic brand I bought was actually a pretty
good one produced by a local manufacturing company
that made a very good brand of wavy chips. They went
easy on the salt and that was always one thing I
hated about Ruffles, too salty. I also don't like
ridged chips, never have. I like wavy, dammit.

This was the same guy who insisted we go out for
coffee and pay two bucks a cup for swill because
all I had on hand was instant. I maintain, and
always shall, that while I can tell a difference
between good coffee and shit, the average person
cannot. So one time, I put instant crystals in a
gourmet coffee bag and went through the entire
pantomime of making gourmet coffee for this
friend. "Is that better? Are you satisfied now
that I've made really expensive coffee?" "Yes,"
he said smugly.

This was the same guy who would not take Hy-Vee
brand non-dairy creamer in his coffee insisting
that only the finest Coffeemate would do to please
his sensitive palate. As if he could tell. Well,
he couldn't because I pulled the same god-damned
trick on him with a Coffeemate container.

Most people know only one thing and that is what
they are told to believe is true. Papa John's
pizza isn't better because their toppings are
the freshest or the best. That's bullshit. They
couldn't have any fresher toppings unless they
grew tomatoes on their rooftops and I don't see
that happening. But you'd be surprised at how
many people will buy that shit.

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