I've come to save all you fat fucking idiots ... but first, let's see if I can save myself

I was watching Gandhi the other night when it occurred to me that Americans could really use saving. Here we are living in the most prosperous nation on earth with more fat fucks per square mile than anywhere in the universe, access to just about any kind of knowledge we could possibly want and yet we remain cut off from our potential. We might be the greatest nation on earth but we could certainly be a much greater one.

In Indian, Gandhi realized that poverty was the greatest act of violence. You could take a train from one end of India to the next and see all the skinny fuckers and be impressed by the tyranny of the British. I can guarantee you that it would have been quite a different sight had the people of India been able to get their hands on Doritos and cheeseburgers.

In the United States, it is the poorest people who ARE fat because the only thing they can afford to eat is unhealthy crap with so much salt, carbs and additives it's positively addictive. Add this to the fact that average American is a wage slave working non-stop just to stay in poverty that when they get home ... if they can manage it and don't work two or three jobs ... they have just about enough energy left to camp out in front of the TV to watch sitcoms and dramas packed with nearly 1/3 commercial content.

I'd like to do for America what Gandhi did for India though and that is create a truly spiritual movement among a people who desperately need it. If I could only figure out some way to get the corporations to pay for it and do it as a half-hour (20-minute) comedy show about nothing.

We are a people whose junk-filled bellies and pabulum-dulled minds stand in the way of our true potential. Frankly, I see no end to this. We live in a system that guarantees we can never change it. We aren't supposed to change ourselves, improve our own lots because we're fat. Our poor people are fat so OBVIOUSLY it is a waste of time to do anything for them because in other countries poor people are starving. So in America, it is actually considered silly to be concerned about the state of poor people in America because in a way, they don't exist.

It's a mind fuck, people. We could all use a good spiritual enema, of course we won't get it because we need to get up at 6 to go to some mindless, soul-crushing job that barely keeps us going. We live in a constant state of anxiety and live as moral shut-ins as a result. Ever try to reach a higher level of consciousness when you're shit-scared of losing everything?