Excess and plenty of it

There is a good deal of debate at this time of year over what is the perfect entree for Christmas feast. Turkey is always a forerunner in the U.S., but since everyone eats turkey on Thanksgiving just one month prior, many opt for some other meat.
Ham is the obvious second choice but most Americans eat the processed ham often enough and couldn't a afford a good one (ie Virginia, Black Forest) to liven things up.

Roast beef is an obvious choice, but let's be honest, beef is what's for dinner in America all the damn time so having it for Christmas just makes the day seem ordinary.

Goose is practically a mythological creature in the United State. We see them fly over our heads, but I don't think I've ever eaten one. Frankly, I can't honestly say I know anyone who has. They certainly don't sell them at McDonald's. This normal absence would make goose a natural for Christmas except that most Americans like three things for the holidays: something they know they like, excess and plenty of it.

So in the name of all that makes our Lord Jesus weep, I recommend a new entree. An entree that even the Romans could not have anticipated for its gluttony. It is the turducken. The turducken is a turkey deboned coated inside with a layer of stuffing then covered with a deboned duck layered with stuffing then covered with a deboned chicken covered with stuffing then rolled up and tied to resemble a turkey. Baked and then sliced crosswise so that one gets turkey, duck, chicken and stuffing in nearly every bite.

It could only be made more perfect if it had a goose on the outside, more stuffing, then a suckling pig more stuffing and then a cow. In the center a cheese stuffed ham.

But that would be TOO too much, you know. Turduckens run about $90 when you can find a butcher who does them so the extravagance is certainly there. When you consider it's three birds in one, it's really not too pricey.