The Unkindest Cut

It's funny. You know a guy for 25 years and you still occasionally
find one or two things you don't know about him and that he didn't
know about you. One of my filthy little secrets was the abuse I
took from our junior high school gym teacher, Mr. Zimmerman.

This perverted cocksucker showered with our class on at least one
occasion. That was not appropriate. But the abuse of which I still
occasional think was bit more of the "shove me up against a locker
and call me a greaser" variety. Rotten bastard. I'd like to get ahold
of him one of these days. Like I even knew what the hell that was
apart from The Outsiders. What really gets me is that I ever even
considered telling my parents about it because I knew they wouldn't
have done shit about it. And that's what really sucks.

It would have been totally worth having that bald fuck screw with me
if I could have counted on my parents tearing ass into that school to set
things to right. But I bet Zimmerman knew I was the kind of kid who
made a good victim. The fact he was right is the really shit sandwich.

Same thing happened when I was in grade school only I did tell my
mother that my gym teacher had hurt me. Two things were done
immediately: Jack and Shit. That was worse than having a grown
man pinch my cheeks until I started crying... right in front of teacher
who also didn't do a god damn thing about it.

And people wonder why I have issues with women. Here's the long
and short of it. Women are supposed to have this almost supernatural
ability and desire to protect children and yet on multiple occasions I
have found myself on the short end of that stick. This has led me to a
particularly dark place where my very basic worthiness as a human
being has been called into question. Why am I or was I not worthy of
the kind of compassion one might show a stranger? If I saw an adult
abusing a child and didn't even know who they were, I'd get involved.
If I knew the kid or if -- god forbid -- the kid was mine, I'd be incensed.

You can't make up for that kind of mind fucking.