Greatest Generation, My Ass

Every day I talk to people in their 70s and 80s who, in spite of kicking Hitler's ass, can't figure out how to work their fucking remotes. People tell me I'm not patient enough with these old fuckers as if I'm trying to explain quantum chemistry to them using only sign language. "Press the channel up button." "The what?"

How'd you change your God damn channels yesterday, man? It's the same fucking thing. Did I use a bizarre term? Channel up button, motherfucker, DO YOU HAVE ONE? Push it!

Oh, it's working now.

Good, I'd hate to think of you missing out on the Matlock marathon.