10/17/10 Spank your kids
You know you are getting old when you start thinking of college students as the "kids these days." I suppose it was inevitable I would hit an age when I could no longer prop up my hipness in the face of change. I have tried for as long as possible to maintain youthfulness. I have used a combination of staying in school for an obscenely long time, only making friends with people 10 years or more younger than myself, avoiding long-term employment and never saying things like "well, THAT'S different."
Most importantly, I remain willing to adapt to new trends like swearing on basic cable, social networking, sandwiches with chicken breast buns, the "Star Trek" reboot, green technologies, the information age and even "Jackass" in 3D."
Failing to keep up with change will give you a case of future shock big enough to kill a llama. The worst cases leave you a broken shut-in afraid to leave the house, but the mild cases are almost as bad. They create in some minds the idea that coolness peaked when they did. That is never the case.
People stuck in another decade will tell you no good music has been made since Starship broke up and that rap cannot possibly last even though it has been around since the 70s.
I will admit that I am more old-fashioned than I care to admit in some areas and on one subject in particular. That subject is more taboo than strip poker on Sunday. If you are sensitive, turn away now because no one wants to force you to absorb the following opinion. Ready?
I have a lingering attachment to corporal punishment. We need to bring back into vogue the well-measured, non-angry form of physical repercussion for failure to acceed to demands that was last popular when I was a kid.
Just to be clear, I despise abuse as well as the abusive, but I think it is wrong to equate simple spanking with abuse. To the contrary, sparing the rod spoils the child, but more importantly it just feels right to advocate a modicum of physically-imposed discipline. It was good enough for grandma and she raised six kids with relative success.
Grandma was right to spank because children are not morally responsible individuals capable of understanding the difference between right and wrong when presented as mere theory. You cannot have an intelligent discussion with a five-year-old about the ethical consequences of their actions. You cannot explain to someone who has no real understanding of pain let alone a realistic concept of mortality why they should not run out into traffic. "Why" shouldn't enter into it, only "because I said so."
There are plenty of good kids out there and I don't intend to demean them in any way. Quite the opposite. Kids who misbehave around adults are anything from a bad example to a torment to good kids. Good kids know as well as adults do that ill-mannered children lack discipline. They want us to make those kids behave for their own benefit.
By the time kids get to their teens these days, they are uncontrollable if they haven't learned proper etiquette already. I do not blame the media, sugar or whatever reality star is the haps this week. I blame the namby-pamby policies that make it impossible for a parent to grab their kids by the arm in a public place and tell them if they do not stop screaming, they are going to get paddled in front of the whole store.
What happened to the America of the past, the one I knew and loved growing up? When parents could spank their kids for pushing at the public pool or give them a mild slap on the mouth for cussing? What happened to that country where parents could threaten their kids to keep them in line? Does anyone honestly think we are living in a better country for sparing the rod?
I believe wholeheartedly that there is nothing wrong with your kids knowing that if they cross the line, they've got a whoopin' coming to them. Respect, common courtesy and healthy fear are not always things you can teach a child about. Sometimes it takes a spanking.
