Khhhaaaaaaan!!!

Geek street cred established. I spent $5 on this articulated (10-points of it!) piece of plastic just so I couid leave it in the bag on display in my apartment. Yeah, I'm cool like that.

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required. Visit www.apple.com/quicktime/download to download the free player or upgrade your existing QuickTime� Player. Note: During the download process when asked to choose an installation type (Minimum, Recommended or Custom), select Minimum for faster download.

Why's this bitch keep talking to me?

Seriously, I don't bother you while I'm reading Star Trek

fan fiction at the library do I?

My favorite bit of food porn

The world's most awesome combover

I STILL DIG MY VCR

Call me a Luddite if you must but for day to day recording I still prefer my VCR to my DVD burner. My VCR never refuses to record a PBS Johnny Cash special because it's copy protected. My VCR will record 3 sequential shows on 3 different channels without a 1 minute break at the end of each show where sometimes stuff happens I want to see. DVRs are great if you have money to burn & no disks to which you'd like to do the same.

My love life & other mythological creatures

I was stuck inside Target this summer during a storm.

Well, as the storm raged on, one thing led to another and ...

I snuck this pic for the old spank bank. Sigh.

The day they knocked down the Palais...

... part of my childhood died ... just died. I used to work

here in high school. This used to be called Sam's Hamburgers.

I could throw down 120 patties, flip 'em, cheese 'em, top 'em

& wrap 'em in 3 minutes. I was the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

Jesus vs Batman: Who would win in a fair fight?

My buddy kevin is all pissed at me for posing this
query without immediately surrendering to our
Lord championship status in the only field in which
he never claimed superiority: violence. We figured
Bats could beat Wolverine and even Superman but
Kevin just wouldnt give the Dark Knight the W over
JC even if neither one used batarangs or magic. I pointed
out that its hard to do roundhouse kicks wearing flip flops
and even harder to make a fist with holes in your hands
but Kev would have none of it. He is truly faithful
that one.

It stands to reason that if Jesus could get beat down by
a bunch of guys in sandals with no guns while weve
all seen the Bat take on way tougher like Joker and
Two Face then by the transitive property of basic logic
Batman could more than likely beat our Saviour in a
friendly dust up. This doesnt mean Christianity is
meritless. It it does anything it reinforces that
Christianity is a religion whose believes are supposed
to allow their asses to be kicked.

QED.

porn or ice cream?

Cherry Nut Crunch
Oreo blizzard
Dippin Chocolate
Chunky Monkey
99 cent Banana Split Junior
Exploited Black Teens 27

Song for Jason

Alright mother scratchers, let's see if I've got one more in me before the big sleep comes down. First off, congestive heart failure: yes, it IS a chronic condition. Starting some time last July, I started going down hill. Bloated right up, couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep. Being the real man I am, I toughed it out until November when things got so bad, I couldn't even drive any more. Couldn't feel my feet. Couldn't find the brake. Didn't realize my shoe had come off and was stuck under the pedal. Almost wrapped the Hyundai around ... well, another Hyundai as it it happens. It was only owing to my excellent driving (I've seen Mad Max and The Road Warrior like 40 times each) that I grabbed at the emergency brake and skidded to a stop ... on the median.   Anyway, I ended up in the emergency room with a cod sack the size of a watermelon. Apparently, it's pretty common for a dude's scrote to swell up with fluid during an illness especially congestive heart failure because edema is basically the cells hanging on to water because the heart isn't working. It took two weeks for my marble bag to return to its normal proportions and even longer before I could spend more than a few minutes out of bed.   Long story short (too late) I've had some pretty major changes to my former "swingin'" bachelor lifestyle. I'm diffuse as a mug. My brain, which was never too good to begin with, ain't working at 100 percent. It's hard to concentrate, read, work, clean or write. If that weren't enough, my neuropathy has gotten much worse. That means I can't feel my feet OR my fingers. And that means typing is a major bitch. I can't feel the keys any more and I type at a fraction of the speed of my prime with 400 percent more errors. In short, my flow is fucked. I'm better off writing on paper now when I can muster the energy, which is not often.   Luckily, I can just about manager a hard-on in time to prevent serious injury to the Omaha-Council Bluffs metro area. But my libido is shot as well.   Psychologically, I'm stranger than ever. Getting a powerful OCD and social anxiety on top of the chronic depression and anxiety.   Then last week, a 27 year old friend of mine killed himself for reasons unknown. He had tons of friends. It was the most crowded funeral I've ever been to. It was and is the most God damnedest shame I've seen in some years.   On the bright side, I've got air conditioning, which is nice because it has been hot as balls around here lately.   Seacrest OUT!